If you notice thoughts during meditation, you’re doing it right

How can you stop thoughts during meditation? They come in and bulldoze inner peace. There’s a secret and it’s not what you think.

You see, I thought I was meditating all wrong. I couldn’t stop my thoughts.

Others could meditate and experience the scientifically-backed benefits, why couldn’t I? Was I broken, hopeless, fill-in-the-blank?

Maybe it just wasn’t for me. Maybe I just wasn’t the type to meditate.

What do the professionals say?

I attended a mindfulness class in a final attempt to tame my brain.

If I couldn’t defeat my mind, become spiritual enough, and meditate correctly then I’d give up on inner peace (very reasonable, I know). 

“OK, as you sit here allow thoughts to arise,” the teacher led.

Well that’s easy, I thought. So far, so good.

“Focus on your breathing, the feeling of it, the texture, how the out-breath connects you with the space around you.”

OK, let’s get to the thought stopping.

I knew meditation was about accepting thoughts, but didn’t know how exactly that would obliterate them.

“Each time you notice a thought, it’s a wonderful moment,” he said.

Here it was, the brain ninja trick.

“Label it ‘thinking,’ and then take this amazing opportunity to come back to the breath anew.”

Wait, what? Thinking is an opportunity?

“That way, breathing doesn’t get boring! You can approach it again, differently each time. Thoughts are a gift.”

We continued meditating. It felt a bit like ping pong.

See a thought, label it, and return to the breath with curiosity.

“Be friendly to the process. Say ‘hello thought’ then start feeling the breath at your nose, your chest, your whole body,” the teacher summarised.

Be kind? To my thoughts? To myself?

The thoughts weren’t meant to stop, but suddenly that seemed more OK.

How my mind finally changed

I continued meditating. Some days, it was light and easy. Other days, it was a constant swing coming back to the breath.

I felt like I’d just done reps at the mind gym. Which is exactly what was happening.

When you meditate, you’re training your brain to focus.

Like a muscle, it’s a cycle of progress (training) then rest (relief). At each growth spurt, you’ll feel the extra effort.

Apparently, I was growing — a lot.

Back in class, I had to admit my frustration.

“I keep having thoughts and they haven’t slowed down that much. Every time is like a pendulum between thoughts and breath,” I spoke up.

“Fantastic! You’ve got the hang of it,” the teacher said.

“But I just keep seeing all these thoughts…” he clearly didn’t understand what I was saying.

“Exactly, you’re aware of the thoughts, you see them, you’re paying attention,” the teacher explained.

That’s the point. Meditation is paying attention and allowing the moment and thoughts, to be as they are.

I had to practice not rejecting the thoughts, not judging them as bad. 

Numbers aren’t an issue. Two thoughts or 200 are all chances to refocus.

You see, if you’re able to notice thoughts, as thoughts, then you’re not caught up in them. You have some separation.

The goal is to let thoughts pass like a breeze, not to hold onto them with judgement or resistance. You train your brain to come back to the breath.

I continue to meditate daily and every day/minute/second thoughts arise: I bring my focus back to breathing.

In meditation, you let go of thoughts by not holding onto them.

New to meditation and full of thoughts? Start here:

Sometimes a guided meditation can help you get started.

I recommend Tara Brach if you feel connected to meditation spiritually.

If you’re more analytical, try Headspace meditations.

Remember: Be kind. Allow thoughts and feelings. You’re doing great.

Sometimes we all need to hear that.

Try this simple meditation

You only need 5-10 minutes a day.

Always remember, if you notice thoughts during meditation, you’re rocking it!

For beginners, don’t worry about anything besides returning to the breath.

Keep going, it’s worth it.

Love and light,

Ashley Carmen